It’s not a secret. In fact, I’ve definitely alluded to the fact that I’ve been in kind of a funk/depression about writing since my birthday. I’ve flirted with quitting forever, but writing won’t let me give up. It’s like drugs or Diet Coke.
I’ve just felt like time is moving too quickly and all I do is my dumb job and suddenly I’m 26 and I have nothing (artistically speaking) to show for my time. And then I feel like I’m just a stupid idiot head because real writers go to bed at one and wake up at 5 and write constantly and work 9 jobs and they just care more and are talented. Then I’m like, “Woah, hold on, remember how much OT you worked? Over 300 hours?” So I cut myself a break, though it doesn’t help with the depression. I think the answer lies somewhere in between. Yes, I need to cut myself a break, but I also need to be more committed. Novels don’t write themselves. (With wisdom like that, can the world really afford for me to still my pen?)
Anyway, all this to say that my dear friend who is also a writer, C, reached out to me to become accountability writing partners, as we have done many times in the past. And we agreed that we were both feeling really iffy on writing just now, and that we should just write short stories to get the juices flowing and kick the inner critic to the curb. We turned in our first drafts to each other on Saturday, and I have to say, I was thrilled.
It was like when you kind of get over your crush, but then you see him suddenly at the mall or at a party or something and he smiles at you and you’re like “Gahhhh” all over again. You know. That feeling. And the story has many, many edits ahead of it before it sees the light of the internet, but I definitely think it has some good bones. And I feel a little invigorated. Okay, a lot of invigorated.
Then, Sunday, in my Kingdom Woman Devotional, there was a quote that really spoke to me that I’d like to share.
“‘Choose to walk the path God has placed in front of you, and put one foot in front of the other.’ Don’t waste time thinking, I know this has worked for other people, but it won’t work for me. Don’t second-guess God, reasoning, “I think my way would be a little faster than His way.” Even when the way ahead seems unclear, taking one step at a time is what will get you to the destination God has planned.”
Isn’t that just so lovely and comforting?
“Choose to walk the path God has placed in front of you, and put one foot in front of the other.”
So simple and so complicated, isn’t it? I’m going to choose to write. Then I’m going to write. And I’m going to trust that slow, steadfast progress is all I need to feel like myself again and to see some results and rewards from my writing. Considering this is deadline week, it’s not the best timing to have conviction pumping through my veins, but that’s life. I’ll make up for it this weekend. I’ll be editing my short story and heck, maybe I’ll even take a look at my novel.
Y’all have a good day.